Close Enough to Normal
by Picture
Summary: Temari expresses some concern over her... quirky family. Shikamaru listens. "Sometimes life is insane, but crazy, I know I can do." Shikamaru/Temari. Rated for slight language and drug reference.


Short one-shot blatantly inspired by the song "Perfect For You" and its hangers-on "Hey#1", "Hey #2" and "Hey #3/Perfect For You (Reprise) from the musical _Next to Normal._ That's why half the dialouge rhymes and the piece is somewhat... disjointed.

Disclaimer: Don't own _Naruto_ or _Next to Normal._

Perfect for You

_I might be lazy, a loner, a bit of a stoner, it's true_

_But I might be perfect_

Shikamaru yawned and gazed fondly at a brilliant, fluffy cloud as it passed by. Temari , lying next to him on the grass, looked rather disturbed. He yawned again. White cloud. She continued to appear slightly troubled.

"Wanna talk about it?" Shikamaru asked in a downright serious tone, as if he were a professional therapist of some sort. Faintly-sort-of-grayish cloud.

Temari frowned. Shikamaru shrugged. Slightly dark-looking cloud. The upset expression on her face deepened.

Shikamaru was beginning to sense a disturbing pattern.

"Look, I know you're more of a grimace-and-bear it type person, but-"

"I don't want to hear it, smart ass!" Temari snapped, turning her head in his direction.

"Uh, it wasn't something I did, was it?" Shikamaru asked cautiously.

"No," Temari relented, "It wasn't you." She sighed. He looked back up at the clouds.

"My family is batshit insane."

Shikamaru was tempted to say, _"Well, yeah,"_ but stopped himself and waited for her to go on.

"Do all boys have an obsession with fire?" Temari asked.

"Uh, I suppose you mean that literally?" Shikamaru guessed. Temari nodded.

"Well around here, everyone's pretty into the whole 'will of fire' thing and such, this being Fire Country, but I can't think of anybody who was especially fixated on physical fire…. Well, maybe Sasuke." Temari snorted.

"So what got burned?" _"Or who?"_ Shikamaru added mentally.

"Kankuro and Gaara decided to have a ceremonial disposal of all their old academy papers in the yard. They had a lot of papers."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"They destroyed the barbecue and charred the patio almost beyond recognition."

"Could've been worse."

"They set three of my potted plants on fire."

"Lucky your house isn't made of wood."

"Worst thing is, they thought it was great fun. Now they're trying to burn all kinds of things. By the time I get back, the whole village will be dead from the fumes," Temari rolled over onto her stomach.

"I'm sure they won't take it too far. Gaara is Kazekage."

"Look at the guy who keeps telling everyone he's going to be the next Hokage."

"Point taken. But you have to admit they have gotten better."

"Of course I prefer Gaara now to Gaara… you know. They just can't seem to go a single day without doing something ridiculous."

"You've never seemed to be fazed by it before," Shikamaru prompted.

"Well, I guess I just accept it as a part of life, in a way. I didn't even blink when Kankuro drove a hole through the living room wall with a piece of pipeline. I mean, I don't even know where he got that pipe!" she paused, "Every so often it just gets to be… too much," Temari sighed and flopped onto her back again.

"Sounds like how it is with my mother," Shikamaru commented.

Temari clicked her tongue, "There's nothing wrong with your mother."

"Never said there was," Shikamaru defended, "but she can be… trying at times. It doesn't make her crazy either."

Temari frowned again, "Last month, the three of us went to the store… one of those big ones which carries everything. I was picking up a few necessities while Kankuro and Gaara were off looking at whatever they always look at when a couple of drunk idiots randomly start harassing me. Right at that moment, who should arrive to valiantly defend me but my psycho brothers. If they were anybody else they would have been kicked out of the store at the very least. Probably arrested."

"So they gave a few low-lifes what was coming to them…," Shikamaru could not say he saw much wrong with their presumed course of action.

"In the middle of the afternoon in a public place. Ugh! I at least thought Gaara had learned a little more self control. Civilians could've been injured," Temari had clearly been mulling this over quite a bit.

"What did you do?"

"I took a deep breath and repeated 'Gaara is not trying to kill me' ten times to calm down."

Shikamaru snorted, "Did it work?"

Temari shrugged, "I guess…."

"But…?"

"… I try not to go shopping with them anymore. It's faster anyway."

Shikamaru chuckled, "I'll bet it is." He stopped. Temari looked him over. She sighed.

"There's something else…?"

"Gaara has this… chair. In his office. And he really likes it. I mean, he _really_ likes it. It's almost creepy how much he likes this chair," Temari pursed her lips.

"Uh-huh," Shikamaru prompted skeptically.

"One day, Baki randomly decided this chair was bad for Gaara's back. He attempted to explain this to Gaara, but of course Gaara would have none of it. After several weeks of persisting in this fruitless quest, Baki moved onto other means." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"One day I walk into the office and Gaara is reading this magazine, so I ask him what he's reading….

---

"A catalogue," Gaara answered briefly.

"Oh... what… for?" Temari was taken aback.

"Chairs."

"You're getting a new chair?" Temari asked slowly.

"No."

"Then why are you reading catalogues?"

"Baki asked me to."

"I see," Temari sighed, realizing what was taking place, "You know, it would be a lot simpler if you just bought a new chair."

"I like my chair."

"Okay," Temari shrugged, "It's your battle."

Gaara looked at her quizzically.

---

"So once he figures out the catalogues aren't going to entice Gaara to change his choice of chair, Baki starts trying to swipe Gaara's chair when he isn't looking," Temari went on.

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" Shikamaru put in.

"Well, then Kankuro got involved, so….

---

"Kankuro, what are you doing?" Temari asked, hands full of dirty dinner dishes.

"I'm preparing for my most difficult mission ever. Though I may be facing certain doom, I will do everything in my power to see it through to its conclusion," Kankuro stated dramatically, adjusting his black uniform strategically so no part of his skin was showing.

"I meant why aren't you helping clean up dinner," Temari interrupted, irritated.

"Sorry, Tem, no time, gotta go," and with that Kankuro was gone. Temari grumbled and dumped the plates in the sink. What was that boy up to?

Temari found out the next day when she entered Gaara's office. Sort of. Kankuro was unconscious and sprawled out on the floor. Baki was sullenly untangling himself from an assortment of items on the ground on the other side of the room, which looked like it had been hit by a hurricane or tornado or something. Maybe both. Gaara was sitting in his chair.

"What happened here?" Temari asked, unsure if she actually wanted to know.

"They tried to take my chair," Gaara answered simply, hands folded on his desk.

Temari waited. Gaara was silent.

"So…?"

"No one takes my chair," Gaara informed her, as solemnly as if he was telling a five-year-old her dog had been run over by a bus.

Temari turned and exited the room, deciding she needed another strong cup of tea before beginning her day.

---

"I mean, really, what kind of kage knocks out his brother over a chair?" Temari concluded.

"I think the key word is _brother_. Makes me glad I'm an only child," Shikamaru looked thoughtful.

"Just another day in the Kazekage's household," Temari commented flatly.

"Look at it this way: they haven't killed each other. You're one up on any hypothetical sibling of the Uchiha brothers," Shikamaru was still contemplating the situation.

"Yet. They haven't killed each other yet."  
"You know you're just being difficult, now," Shikamaru glanced over at her.

"Yeah."

"That's still not really what's bothering you…," Shikamaru realized.

"My father tried to kill Gaara all the time…." Shikamaru did not quite know what to say to this.

"But you guys came through. If you can get through that, you can get through anything," he tried to be comforting.

"But what if… what if I turn out… like him?" Temari wondered in a whisper. Shikamaru thought this was about the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard, but thought better of saying so.

"Temari, you've never raised a hand at either of your brothers… you know, seriously trying to hurt them," he pointed out instead.

"What about them," Temari suddenly shouted alarmed, "What if they-"

"Temari, calm down," Shikamaru broke in a little more forcefully than he had intended to, "Gaara and Kankuro might be a little… odd, but that doesn't mean they're going to lose their minds." He tried to comprehend that in Temari's mind this was a very real threat.

"Gaara's still haunted by all those years…."

"I'm sure he is, and maybe it will never completely go away, but you're helping him deal with it, that's what matters."

"I used to wish he'd go away for good, half the time afraid he really would," Temari was still speaking softly, "Sometimes he still scares me."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. He had not expected that.

"Kankuro, too. We're all kind of emotionally unstable. What if it's genetic? What if we all turn into ruthless, power hungry-"

"Seriously, woman, take a deep breath."

Temari's eyes were wide, as if in fear of the potential future.

"Believe me, you're all a stabilizing force in this world. Naruto is still working hard so he can catch up to Gaara. I mean, without that he'd be running around causing mischief all the time."

"I don't know about that," Temari crinkled her brow uncertainly. Naruto had plenty of other things on his mind. And he still had plenty of time to rum amuck and cause trouble.

"And without you, I'd be even more of a useless pile of laziness."

"Oh, I have a lot of help with that," Temari cracked a grin, "It's too big of a job for one person." Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"What about Kankuro?" Temari had to ask.

"I heard Ino say he gives puppet shows for the little kids all the time. Sounds nice enough to me."

Temari held in laughter, "Oh, he's going to be so embarrassed when he finds out people know about that."

"The girls seem to think he's a pretty sweet guy for it," Shikamaru informed her.

"Is that so?" Temari shook her head, "Even though his dad was a homicidal maniac? And he's related to Gaara? And me?"

"Even so," Shikamaru confirmed.

"Huh. Well, I guess I've seen girls with stranger, more self-destructive crushes," Temari admitted half-sarcastically.

Shikamaru shrugged again, "Well, what can I say. The world's a pretty messed up place."

"I know. It just seems like my world's even more screwed up," Temari sighed once more, resolutely. Shikamaru was looking at her strangely.

"With all the fighting and killing and shit going on, you know, with-" Shikamaru started.

"I know, that's true, and I totally care-" Temari interrupted, thinking he was trying to put things in perspective or even tell her to stop being selfish.

"I'm trying to tell you, I love you."

"…What?"

"The world may be a dark and dangerous place, but you're here, and I'm here, so _something_ is working right." Shikamaru looked for a reaction, but found none.

"Go to dinner with me? Tomorrow?" he tried again.

"You've got some nerve, Shikamaru."

This time Shikamaru said nothing.

"I don't do dates," Temari stated in a tone which left no room for argument.

"It's cheesy, I know, but it's fun and it's free," Shikamaru suggested nonchalantly, "for you, anyway," he added as an afterthought.

"You're not giving up?" Temari was surprised.

"Not this time," he did not look at her, but sounded resolute nonetheless.

Temari stayed silent.

"Tell you what," Shikamaru yawned, "I'll be here tomorrow at eight. If you're here, we'll go, if you're not, well, we'll see."

Again, Temari did not answer. Instead she stood up and began walking away. Shikamaru listened to the soft rustle of her feet on the grass.

"Okay," Shikamaru heard her whisper when she was almost out of earshot.

He closed his eyes.

---------------

Shikamaru sat in exactly the same spot, clothes looking a slight bit neater than those he had worn the day before. He rested his elbows on his knees.

Shikamaru barely heard Temari sit down next to him.

"Hey."

"Hey." She was wearing a dark green dress, maybe knee length. Shikamaru blinked to make sure he was not seeing things.

"You look like a jewel. You're a vision in green."

"Don't be mean," Temari punched him in the shoulder.

"No, you are," Shikamaru grinned back at her, rubbing his shoulder, "Hey, you came."

"Well, I said that I might."

"I didn't think you'd show"

"That explains your wardrobe." Shikamaru gave her a look.

"But you came anyway," her voice was gentler.

"Well, I said that I would. I keep my word."

"You say that now… but give it a year, or ten years, you'll get tired of it, it'll be too troublesome, too much work-"

"I mean it."

"Even if I turn out to be crazy?"

"You could go crazy, or I could go crazy, it's true," Shikamaru looked her in the eye. She stared back, unblinking.

"You really want to get in involved in the craziness that is my life. Even a little bit? After everything I said?" Temari frowned, "Were you even listening?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "Sometimes life is insane, but crazy I know I can do."

"You're right, you _are_ crazy," Temari shook her head, but she smiled and allowed Shikamaru to help her up. He grinned broadly.

"Crazy is perfect for you."

* * *

I would appreciate all commentary on this one. It came out kinda strange.


End file.
